Modern toilet facilities may be behind a bush or a hedge

Tuesday, 05 July 2011 11:09

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LAST week I brought you all on a tour of the west of Ireland towns and villages just to give you an insight as to how things can go wrong when you take a wrong turn because the sign is turned the wrong way.
Worse still the sign may be hid behind overgrown hedges or in some cases no sign there at all.
So this week I'm on my way to the big smoke of Dublin to update you on the progress we have made at spending that great lob of EU money.
Fair dues to them, they built a major highway from Galway to Dublin with nothing spared. Well almost.They forgot to build toilets or washroom facilities on this 225km stretch. To make matters worse they don't advise you that you may need to use these facilities before you leave home on the start of your journey.
It's no wonder I'm eating fistful of tablets for cholesterol, blood pressure, stress and about six or seven other ailments that most of us cannot pronounce.
It's because of all the worrying I do having to update you all on the ways so many people, with more letters after their names than in their names, make of the simple chores in life.
One would imagine that it is a very simple job to design and build toilets. Using them is one of the most natural things in the world. They didn't have to be five star facilities and the instructions for use are the same the world over. The only peculiar thing about them is the fact that locks are fitted on every door even though records show that they are very seldom robbed.
I'm on the Sligo/Dublin highway where the washroom and toilet facilities for public use is probably a bush along this busy roadway.
When I asked the NRA why no public facilities were built on this roadway I was told it was the job of the Department of the Environment. So I check with the Department of the Environment and they advised me it was the job of the county councils in the area to provide these facilities.
My next question was what do I do if I have to go? Pull up at a pub or a hotel? I then suggested it would be a pleasant gesture if they allowed commuters who got short taken to use the banks for public conveniences or maybe the local council facilities.
I was advised I was p-ss-n- against the wind if I thought that would ever happen. My reasoning for this suggestion was that the banks are now owned by the taxpayers and if we are paying for the toilet paper we should have access to it despite the fact that we have little access to money in our banks. This proposition got me nowhere so I gave up.
I arrived at the beautiful lake setting overlooking Lough Owel outside Mulligar. Thirty restless drivers were parked up to use the facilities and relax but alas the toilet facilities entailed hiding behind a fence or a bush. Very modern facilities in modern Ireland. There are no washroom facilities because I was told we don't have the money to build or maintain toilets. It's the only country in the world where toilets and washrooms facilities went into liquidation because we ran out of money or just couldn't afford to keep them open.
As I departed on my journey, having left one the most beautiful pieces of scenery in Ireland, I felt ashamed because the place was a mess, bins were not emptied. The adjoining fields were used as unofficial toilet facilities and people were forced to use the area to discard nappies. It wasn't rocket science to build proper toilet facilities.
I felt one of the 16 various authorities within the Health & Safety Authority would have insisted that if the NRA build national primary highways that proper facilities be part of that plan.
Obviously people use these facilities at least once per day which is 4.5 million times per day for the entire population or Ireland. Sorry, as and from the latest statistics this has increased by 200,000 in the past year. So whether my statistics are heeded I don't know.
We have 21st century highways with third world facilities. Do we still have to live in an Ireland where the toilet is behind some hedge or under a bush?
At a time when performance bonuses to senior officials in government departments are a contentious issue, maybe we should look at performance bonuses for people who plan, design and execute our vital infrastructures. I'm not talking about how they perform behind the bushes but rather their best performances for the type of facilities we all pay well for when we travel the motorways of Ireland.
God help me and you, why do we have to put up with it? Simple, because there is no money. When there is no money your not in business, even to spend a penny.
Go naire an bother leath.