Working nine to five, what a way to make a livin’

It should not be more difficult for me to hold down a job than it is for a working father

By Barbara Daly

I HAVE been thinking lately of the world of work and where mothers fit into it. I am a working mother so I can only base it on my own experiences and those of women I speak to.

I am sure there are working fathers who may disagree with some of what I am going to say and I appreciate that.

There are two things mothers have to deal with when working outside the home. The first is the stress and guilt involved in just leaving the house. This has a lot to do with partners and children. The second is the disruption to their work created by whatever is going on at home. This is where the employer comes in.

In our home the man goes out to work five days a week and never has to involve himself in the logistics of childcare. His childcare is provided by me or through me. Neither does he ever have to deal with the guilt of children crying and begging him not to go to work in the morning. That too falls to me.

I work outside the home two days a week and I probably do another four hours work from home. My life feels hectic.

On the in-between days I have to cook dinners on the double so that there is a dinner ready to eat as soon as we walk in the door. I also have to clean, do the laundry, arrange all other household and family activities and of course mind the children at the same time.

On the days I go out to work I find that by the time I get there I am tired and distracted. My children are not great sleepers so I am not well-rested.

I have been up early making lunches and trying to coerce small children into eating breakfast, chasing them around to get them dressed and refereeing early morning rows.

Then there are the days when my going to work is disrupted - a child is sick or the creche/school/after school closes for some reason.

We have no family support and so when the routine breaks down we are left with few options.

I am self-employed so I do not get paid unless I turn up to the client’s office. One particular client is losing patience. He has told me that if my absences over the winter (due to sick children) become a regular feature then he will have to reconsider my working for him.

He too has children and he says he understands but really my absences are an inconvenience, which undoubtedly they are. However there is a niggling question in my head as to whether he would ever have to have the same conversation with male employees or contractors. Unlikely.

I want to work, I need to work and I should have the right to work, the same as any man. It should not be more difficult for me to hold down a job than it is for a working father (not that anyone ever uses that label).

How much of this is down to inequality and how much is down to women (like me) doing too much and putting up with too much? Maybe the inequality forces us to pick up the slack.

So what is the solution? Is it greater availability of affordable childcare, greater respect for the important job of child raising, greater regard for the abilities and attributes women and mothers can bring to the work force?

All of these I think and we still have a long way to go, Dolly.