Singer Lily Allen said she ‘wanted to die’ after split with David Harbour

By Lauren Del Fabbro, PA Entertainment Reporter

Singer Lily Allen has said she “wanted to die” and that her sobriety was challenged after her split from Stranger Things actor David Harbour.

Allen, 40, who married Harbour in 2020, previously said on her podcast Miss Me? that she she entered a treatment centre for therapy in January because she wanted to be her “strongest self” for her children.

The singer, known for hit songs Smile, F*** You, and It’s Not Fair, has since spoken about her mental health after the split and the impact it has had on her and her new music.

Speaking to British Vogue, the singer said: “I’ve had real problems with food over the past few years. (In the thick of the break-up) it got really, really, really bad.

“I knew that the things I was feeling were too extreme to be able to manage, and I was like, ‘I need some time away.’

“I’ve been into those places (residential facility) before against my will and I feel like that’s progress in itself. That’s strength.”

Asked how she knew that she needed to go to a facility, Allen said: “That I wanted to die.

“The feelings of despair that I was experiencing were so strong.

“The last time that I felt anything like that, drugs and alcohol were my way out, so it was excruciating to sit with those (feelings) and not to use them.”

Despite the split, Allen said she still has a lot of “compassion” for 50-year-old Harbour.

She said: “There were lots of good things.

“My kids had an amazing experience living in America for five years, and I have a lot of compassion for my ex-husband. I think we all suffer.”

Allen shares two daughters with her first ex-husband, builder and decorator Sam Cooper, who she married in 2011.

Her comments come ahead of the release of her fifth studio album, the first since No Shame in 2018.

Speaking about her decision to talk publicly about her painful personal experiences, including in her new music, Allen said: “I want to feel validated. I want to feel like it’s OK to feel the things that I’m feeling and to be angry about the thing that I’m angry about.

“There are things that are on the record that I experienced within my marriage, but that’s not to say that it’s all gospel. It is inspired by what went on in the relationship.”

Allen is the daughter of Welsh actor Keith Allen and began her musical career in 1998.

She has had three UK number one singles and two number one albums along with a growing acting career, appearing on the West End stage in 2:22 A Ghost Story, as well as in Sky series Dreamland and the West End revival of Martin McDonagh’s Olivier Award-winning comedy The Pillowman.

Speaking about how she is doing now, Allen added: “Really not in the same space that I was when I wrote (these) songs.

“I have come a long way. I feel OK, actually. Maybe the play has given me an outlet to express my rage.”

See the full feature in the November issue of British Vogue, available by digital download and on newsstands from Tuesday October 21.

Samaritans provides 24-hour support for people at risk of suicide, and can be contacted on 116 123 or at samaritans.org/